The importance of the human in you Vs the mother in you

We all live in a society which has always glorified Mothers and becoming a mother as a rite of passage to becoming a full Woman and something akin to being a superhuman. Mothers are considered the epitome of sacrifice. We are taught that children play the most important role in a woman’s life. And with the changing times, the demands on mothers has increased multifold. Mothers are expected to do and know everything pertaining to their children, starting from their children’s  health, homework, extra curriculars, friends, projects, future, savings and the list just goes on. Most mothers start and end their day thinking only about their children.

And in the middle of all this, where does the person/ women/human in her go? She disappears to an unnoticable corner in her mind that houses all the trivial matters in her life, pushed there to stay till her children are old enough and have lives of their own. We fail to realise that by time, the woman has not enough health and energy to fulfil her wishes and live her life. Many women even forget who they were before they became mothers , their whole life has become about their children that they have a hard time letting their children live their life.

The mother and the woman in her are not different but the same and for one to be happy, the other should also be happy. HAPPY, SATISFIED AND RELAXED WOMEN MAKE HEALTHIER, HAPPIER AND MORE INVOLVED MOTHERS.  A few tips to help women relax as they mother their children

  • Take a few minutes a day for yourself to indulge in life’s small pleasures – a steaming cup of coffee, listening to your favourite song, a few minutes of extra sleep, take away from your favourite restaurant, a few extra minutes to shower, deep breathing for a few counts, planning a healthy meal.
  • Make “MOMMY FRIENDS”. As with different friends you make at each stage of life who help you tide the difficulties of that time, making friends with women who have become mothers at the same time as you, may help you handle the small nuances of motherhood with ease. A listening ear and an understanding shoulder will make a whole lot of difference.
  • Pick and learn atleast one new hobby a year. This will help channel your energy and learn more about yourself.
  • Let your children be free/bored at times. They will be behind you initially but will soon learn to entertain themselves which inturn gives you time to do what you enjoy.
  • Share joint hobbies with your children. Laugh, learn and enjoy the pleasure together.
  • Take a few days a year for yourself. A trip as a couple, with friends, a solo trip or just the house to yourself. This works if you have relatives or friends to help with the kids for a few days.
  • If a few days a year is not possible, atleast a few hours a month to go to a movie, dinner date, etc.
  • Try your hand at new things like adult coloring, mandalas, doodling, crochet, decorating, arranging a cupboard, etc as they are proven and time tested methods that can help you relax.
  • Remember a few deep breaths can make a big difference.

Keep in mind – A HAPPY MOTHAR HAS HAPPY CHILDREN. Love, laugh and live.

A guest blog by Sarranya Sastikumar.